So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
