do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
