Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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