Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
