HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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