# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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