fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
