At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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