i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
