You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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