it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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