i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
