When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
