I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
