Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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