You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
