so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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