some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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