Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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