Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
