Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
