we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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