You really coming over, don't trick.
You're so nebulous sometimes
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
