Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
