the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
