OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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