Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
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