Are my feet made of real feet?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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