he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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