Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
