No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
