Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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