How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
