Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
