oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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