Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
