you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
