Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
My vagina is very pro this idea
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I'm always down for nudity.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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