Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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