I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Soap is not a condiment
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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