I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
