Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
