i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize