I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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