You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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