How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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