New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
