You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
