My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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