1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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