Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Randomize
