Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize