I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
