So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
