Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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