Non-Jews are for practice
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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