she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
