Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
