I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Shitshow foam night was such a success
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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