I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
