He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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