where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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