Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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